Moms Talk: Forcing Kids Into Sports?

QUESTION: My son is a freshman in high school and doesn't want to play any sports or join any activities. He says if I try to force him I'll just be wasting my time and he'll quit. I really think being a part of a team would be good for his self esteem and be a good way to connect with some new friends this school year. Do I push the issue or let him make the call?

ANSWER: When my son decided not to try out again for the high school soccer team, I got so worked up I ate a half gallon of chocolate ice cream in one sitting. Ultimately, I declared it was his decision but also didn't let him get away before pointing out the many reasons he might regret not playing (not seeing his friends at games, not being a part of a team, etc.) He chose another activity though, and I finally put the ice cream away. Studies show that by junior high, kids who participate in at least one activity they feel they excel at have more confidence in life. Activites can also keep kids out of trouble during the afternoon hours when parents are at work. Sometimes forcing an activity or sport isn't as heartless as it seems; your child may end up enjoying it in the long run. In our house, we take a "one year at a time" approach. This means a child commits to an activity for a year and then, if he doesn't like it, he has the option to quit. As the old saying goes, "You'll never know if you don't try it." That ol' chess club just might be the best thing they ever joined!