Moms Talk: Handling Public Temper Tantrums

I heard it before I saw it. “Mommmeee! Noooooo! No want tooooo!” It erupted somewhere between the linens and the baby section of the department store. Moments later, the screamer emerged into the aisle—a 3-year-old girl with beautiful blond curls and a voice that could carry into the parking lot.

The mother looked frazzled, to say the least, as she juggled her cart, a newborn and the screaming toddler on one arm. As the tantrum grew louder, fellow shoppers threw disapproving glares her way. The mother stooped down to speak to the girl in what appeared to be a desperate plea for silence, and I did the only noble thing I could think of before I walked away: I gave her the Been There, Done That, Know Your Pain smile. To my surprise, she flashed a weary smile in return.

We’ve all been there—that horrific moment when your child decides to throw a public tantrum out of nowhere, going from sweet, adorable and innocent to “Whose child are you anyways?” in a heartbeat.

My greatest humiliation took place on a certain ride at a certain amusement park that Mickey Mouse may or may not frequent. (I’m hoping to stay semi-anonymous here still.) My baby sat contentedly in my lap, while my 2-year-old daughter sat beside me as the little boat set out. As the guide chatted away and the tourists listened attentively, my daughter decided she wanted off the ride. But of course, we had already set out to “sea” and it was too late. I tried to quiet her gently, but she proceeded to scream and yell until she bit her bottom lip so hard that it bled. As my baby began to cry, my daughter did the unthinkable: she stood up, clenched her fists and peed onto the floor of the boat, leaving a nice little puddle beneath her feet.

By now, we had made such a scene that the guide was forced to stop talking, and all eyes turned to me. I tried apologizing over and over, sorry that visitors who had flown hundreds of miles and spent their last dollar to vacation at what might have previously been the happiest place on earth had to experience such a thing. A few were sympathetic, but most looked disgusted as I tried to calm my daughter and newborn, all the while contemplating jumping ship into the shallow waters and wading back to the safety of a public bathroom where I could hide in a stall for the rest of the day.

Public temper tantrums can be humiliating. We panic, we feel helpless, and every good ounce of parenting knowledge we’ve retained goes out the window in a heartbeat as we’re forced to decide how to handle the scene. I once ditched a full cart of groceries when my son threw a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store.

Sometimes, fleeing the scene seems the best option, though it isn’t always the most convenient. Other times, we have no option (hence my boat ride experience) and are forced to deal with things on the spot. Either way, it can be hard not to feel judged as the world looks on while our child gives an Oscar- worthy performance in the produce aisle. We want to scream, “I’m a good mom, really! Trust me!” At the end of the day, we’re all human and all bound to have a bad day once in a while. We’re all in this motherhood thing together, right?

So, moms, fess up. What was your most humiliating moment? How do you handle your child in public when they throw a temper tantrum? Have you experienced judgment or sympathy? And when you see other moms struggling, how do you respond? We want to hear from you! (And know we’re not alone!)