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Community Corner

Moms Talk: Is Santa Claus Fun or Fraud?

It's the question as old as your grandmother's fruitcake: Should we let our children believe in Santa Claus?

Something troubling has happened this past year: My kids have gotten smarter. This seems like a good thing, but when it comes to Santa Claus, I’m getting myself in a bit of trouble.

Santa has been a sort of ambiguous figure in our family since my children were young; we’ve never had a true heart-to-heart about the ol’ guy. But just the other day, my 6-year-old son came to me and fired off several perplexing questions. “Mom, how come we didn’t have a fire place in the last house we lived in but Santa still came?” And then, “Mom, since we’re goin’ to Grandma’s this year, how’s Santa gonna know where to bring the gifts?” Then, “Mom, all those Santas at the mall … they’re not the REAL one, right?” And finally, the best question of all: “Mom, where does Santa go pee when he’s out delivering gifts?”

I’ve never been much of a good liar, especially when put on the spot. I gave the best replies I could come up with off the top of my head: “Santa doesn’t need a chimney to get in the house, he got the memo about going to Grandma’s house, all those guys are his helpers at the mall, and he goes pee in a Port-a-Potty on his sleigh.” OK, really, a Port-a- Potty? That was a bit far-fetched. But like I said, I’m not much of a good liar.

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My daughter is more of a straight shooter. Last week, she said, “Mom, Santa isn’t real, is he?”

I gulped and then gave a response I’d read in a magazine somewhere, “Well, if you don’t believe, you don’t receive.” She nodded, and that was the end of that.

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My friend’s daughter is wising up, too. “How come Santa’s got the same wrapping paper I saw in your closet, Mom?” she demanded last Christmas. Eek … answer that one, Mom!

Growing up, my parents always set one larger unwrapped gift (a bicycle, a dollhouse, etc.) in front of the tree; this one was from Santa. We left cookies and milk out for him, and only a few crumbs remained in the morning. Once, I even swore I heard footsteps on the roof at midnight. So naturally, I believed. But when I found out he didn’t exist, my world wasn’t crushed. I did, however, clarify that my present count wouldn’t go down just because I wasn’t a believer anymore and was sworn to secrecy until my younger brothers learned the truth.

Life is full of many harsh realities. Though my family focuses on many other aspects of Christmas, I’m a firm believer that a little magical fun never hurt anyone. I also believe we can learn a lot from the real St. Nick, whose giving spirit touched many lives. It seems that when most kids discover the truth about Santa, they’re old enough to handle the news. But some parents strongly disagree, arguing that letting our children believe in Santa makes us liars and our children heartbroken. Santa, along with the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy, they say, can cause more harm than good. For instance, what if the guy can’t deliver? (My friend’s son asked Santa for a bat cave this Christmas—that’s a tall order!)

So what do you tell your children when it comes to Jolly Old Saint Nick? Do they still believe? If not, how old were they when they learned the truth and how did it come out? Is the idea of Santa Claus all in good fun? Why or why not?

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