Patch Picks: How to Be a Real Housewife of Orange County

GET SOME NEW DUDS: LA DIVA

22342 El Paseo, Suite G, Rancho Santa Margarita.

It’s no secret that clothes are a big deal on the Real Housewives of Orange County. Housewife Lauri Peterson says “big hats” are her thing, while Tamra Barney, who claims to be one of the more down- to-earth housewives, told Hoda on the Today Show that her “mom sweats” are her favorite duds. But don’t  get too excited ... these “sweats” aren’t your mother’s Wal-Mart duds. Tamra, Lauri and the girls have all been known to pop in the upscale boutique, La Diva, to do their shopping from time to time. La Diva sells popular name brands, including True Religion, Ed Hardy and Christian Audiger, just to name a few. The price tags are on the hefty side, but then, that’s just a small, er, price to pay for looking good.

GET FIT: LAKE SANTA MARGARITA

Everyone knows that keeping in shape is top priority in the Real Housewife world. In an interview, housewife Gretchen Rossi said that exercise is one of the most important elements of her day. She claims to stay fit by keeping weights around her house and picking them up whenever she can throughout the day. She also stays fit by riding her cruiser bike, doing lunges at the park and walking her two little dogs every day. We’re guessing there might be a bit more to her fit physique, but hey, she looks great, so she must be doing something right. If you have a dog, what better way to get some (free) exercise than to run a few laps around the lake? If you don’t have a dog, borrow a neighbor’s; you’ll do them (and your figure) a favor by getting out and about.

GET TAN:

22307 EL Paseo, #B, Rancho Santa Margarita

OK, we’ve all heard excessive tanning can cause skin cancer, but if you want to look like a Real Housewife, you gotta start with the tan; it’s their signature look! Spectrum Tan of Rancho Santa Margarita is the No. 1 one luxury tanning salon in south Orange County, offering both spray tans and the traditional Class 600 beds. If you want to try both, sign up for the Double Dip: for only $20, you’ll get a regular European tanning session as well as a spray tan session (one time only deal).

GET A DRINK:

22312 El Paseo, Rancho Santa Margarita

Whether poolside at a hotel, cruising in a limo or dining at their favorite restaurants, the housewives can always be found with a drink in hand. Sure, the booze makes for some ugly catfights and occasional obnoxious conversation, but that’s what keeps the ratings so high. On the Today Show a while back, housewife Tamra Barney boasted about her (now ex) husband’s tequila, El Conde Azul, including it as one of her “favorite things.” We’re not sure if she still feels the same way, but we are pretty sure the girls still love their martinis and margaritas. Get your own at Canyon Fireside Grille, proud maker of the “Rancho Santa Margarita,” your hometown’s namesake (made with fresh lime juice).

GET A CUPCAKE: ISLAND CUPCAKES

30622 Santa Margarita Parkway, Rancho Santa Margarita.

Every “real” housewife in Orange County wants to know the truth: Do the girls really eat dessert? After all, Alexis Bellini has been open about her eating disorder, claiming sweets are her weakness and that she eats only 900 calories a day. But we were relieved to hear housewife Tamra Barney claim on the Today Show that cupcakes are one of her favorite “splurge” treats. And why not? They’re small and nearly harmless but pack all the flavor of a traditional piece of cake (though that frosting could really get you in trouble!). Island Cupcakes offers a variety of unique flavors, including Chocolate Macadamia Nut, Guava, Mango and Red Velvet, all for the sweet little price of $3 a piece.