Fate—Is It Fact or Fiction?

Many years ago, I met this beautiful girl. I mean a really beautiful girl, inside and out.  We had absolutely nothing in common, traveled in different circles, had virtually no shared interests, lived far apart and never would have met but for the fact that my buddy and I were enjoying a “He-Man, Women Haters Weekend” on Catalina Island at the same time that she just so happened to be there. A year and half further down the road, we married and created our home here in Rancho Santa Margarita. Twenty one years, three children, three dogs and multiple fish later, we still marvel at the circumstances that brought us together.

I have always been a cynic. For me to believe in anything, it seems that I require it to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt, "faith" being a poor man’s substitute for logic and science. However, I can’t deny the fact that my wife and I would have never met but for that chance meeting on Catalina Island. That fortuitous meeting came at the lowest time in my life, and proved to be the genesis of a series of occurrences that completely reshaped and transformed my future. Honestly, I say this not because I know my wife will read this and I might gain some much needed Brownie Points (I admit the thought has crossed my mind), but because I continue to be amazed at the pure serendipity of our "chance" encounter, and how this occurrence has influenced me to this day.

Julie and I have often referred to our belief that our meeting was a result of fate, an occurrence outside of our control, pre-destined by God, nature, or the established order of the universe. Which leads me to wonder, does fate truly exist? Do events occur as a result of a pre-ordained determination by a supernatural power? Is it Karma? Is destiny determined or influenced by one’s past thoughts or conduct?  Or are such occurrences just a result of pure luck? Happenstance?

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

—Steve Jobs

Without doubt, some things are pre-destined. For example, our free will is not responsible for our own chemical composition, the structure of the universe, etc. But what of the day-to-day, ordinary events of our lives?

I’m no expert on theology, but I am aware that there are many differing viewpoints in Christian, Jewish and Islamic thought regarding the issue of fate, and how fate can exist if one also believes that God has given humans the gift of free will.

In Buddhist and Hindu thought, the world is governed by the natural law of Karma. All thoughts, intentions and actions cause an effect throughout the successive phases of a person‘s existence. Think of it as the “what goes around, comes around” theory. In Buddhist and Hindu thought, we are each responsible for our own futures, and "fate" does not exist.

Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be,

The future's not ours to see,

Que Sera, Sera,

What will be, will be.

—Doris Day (Jay Livingston and Ray Evans)

Recently, I posted a story of my own near death experience, and I have since heard from others regarding their own close calls with the Grim Reaper. What I found interesting is that many of those people who commented on the topic specifically referred to the fact that they had learned an important lesson from their frightening experience, and that they were thankful that they had been provided another opportunity to live a meaningful, rewarding life. Was it fate that intervened? A Karmic consequence? Or did they avoid death as a result of plain old luck?

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

—Seneca

Despite my cynical tendencies, I for one have come to believe that some things are destined to occur in our lives, that fate plays an active part in shaping our destiny. I’m sure of very little, but I’m certain that fate played an essential part in my life, if only once. 

Man does not control his fate. The women in his life do that for him.

—Groucho Marx

So tell me, what do you think? Do you believe in fate? Do you believe in Karma? Free will? Do things happen for a reason? Is your destiny determined solely by your intentions and actions? Are events in your life pre-ordained? Or is your future dependent upon a string of random, isolated events?

FATE ... Fact or Fiction?